Sunday, July 22, 2012

He used to bring me Dandelions

He used to bring me dandelions, we used to make wishes, we'd lay in the grass and turn clouds into creatures, and tell stories and sing songs. The rain seems to be bringing out my tears today. It suddenly seems so long...since he's been gone and and everything is as it should be, seemingly ordinary. I guess that's the lesson in life. There are no ordinary moments, mondane does not exist, children are a joy and a gift to be enjoyed with every breath. Everything else is so unimportant, a busy day of errands, a clean house, work, financial stress, all nonsense. I am overcome with grief today, not just the loss of my son but the realization that I never fully enjoyed him while he was here . I never fully knew him or tried to understand him fully. He was my teacher, I guess he still is. He was my joy that boy, and now I can only try and recall it all and vow to never forget.